Caca

2009-10-10T08:27:00.001-07:00

Closed.

2009-10-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

I wanted very much to close this blog, but will be probably wasted since you clicked here. Since I won't be blogging here, I will probably paste just articles, in case it can be at least a little bit beneficial for anyone. And this is about living the moment. :D

The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the Moment.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what's past. "We're living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence," says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace. We're always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm.

Most of us don't undertake our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts control us. "Ordinary thoughts course through our mind like a deafening waterfall," writes Jon Kabat-Zinn, the biomedical scientist who introduced meditation into mainstream medicine. In order to feel more in control of our minds and our lives, to find the sense of balance that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause, and, as Kabat-Zinn puts it, to "rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being."

We need to live more in the moment. Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience.

Cultivating a nonjudgmental awareness of the present bestows a host of benefits. Mindfulness reduces stress, boosts immune functioning, reduces chronic pain, lowers blood pressure, and helps patients cope with cancer. By alleviating stress, spending a few minutes a day actively focusing on living in the moment reduces the risk of heart disease.

Mindful people are happier, more exuberant, more empathetic, and more secure. They have higher self-esteem and are more accepting of their own weaknesses. Anchoring awareness in the here and now reduces the kinds of impulsivity and reactivity that underlie depression, binge eating, and attention problems. Mindful people can hear negative feedback without feeling threatened. They fight less with their romantic partners and are more accommodating and less defensive. As a result, mindful couples have more satisfying relationships.

Living in the moment involves a profound paradox: You can't pursue it for its benefits. That's because the expectation of reward launches a future-oriented mindset, which subverts the entire process. Instead, you just have to trust that the rewards will come. There are many paths to mindfulness—and at the core of each is a paradox. Ironically, letting go of what you want is the only way to get it. Here are a few tricks to help you along.

1: To improve your performance, stop thinking about it (unselfconsciousness).

I've never felt comfortable on a dance floor. My movements feel awkward. I feel like people are judging me. I never know what to do with my arms. I want to let go, but I can't, because I know I look ridiculous.

"Loosen up, no one's watching you," people always say. "Everyone's too busy worrying about themselves".

The first paradox of living in the moment: Thinking too hard about what you're doing actually makes you do worse. If you're in a situation that makes you anxious—giving a speech, introducing yourself to a stranger, dancing—focusing on your anxiety tends to heighten it. "Focus less on what's going on in your mind and more on what's going on in the room, less on your mental chatter and more on yourself as part of something." says Hayden. To be most myself, I needed to focus on things outside myself, like the music or the people around me.

Indeed, mindfulness blurs the line between self and other, explains Michael Kernis, a psychologist at the University of Georgia. "When people are mindful, they're more likely to experience themselves as part of humanity, as part of a greater universe." That's why highly mindful people such as Buddhist monks talk about being "one with everything."

Focusing on the present moment forces you to stop overthinking. "Being present-minded takes away some of that self-evaluation and getting lost in your mind—and in the mind is where we make the evaluations that beat us up," says Stephen Schueller, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania. Instead of getting stuck in your head and worrying, you can let yourself go.

2: To avoid worrying about the future, focus on the present (savoring).

In her memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert writes about a friend who, whenever she sees a beautiful place, exclaims in a near panic, "It's so beautiful here! I want to come back here someday!" "It takes all my persuasive powers," writes Gilbert, "to try to convince her that she is already here."

Often, we're so trapped in thoughts of the future or the past that we forget to experience, let alone enjoy, what's happening right now. We sip coffee and think, "This is not as good as what I had last week." We eat a cookie and think, "I hope I don't run out of cookies."

Instead, relish or luxuriate in whatever you're doing at the present moment—what psychologists call savoring. "This could be while you're eating a pastry, taking a shower, or basking in the sun. You could be savoring a success or savoring music," explains Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California at Riverside and author of The How of Happiness. "Usually it involves your senses."

Why does living in the moment make people happier—not just at the moment they're tasting molten chocolate pooling on their tongue, but lastingly? Because most negative thoughts concern the past or the future. As Mark Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." The hallmark of depression and anxiety is catastrophizing—worrying about something that hasn't happened yet and might not happen at all. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking about the future—and if you hoist yourself into awareness of the present moment, worrying melts away.

3: If you want a future with your significant other, inhabit the present (breathe).

Living consciously with alert interest has a powerful effect on interpersonal life. Mindfulness actually inoculates people against aggressive impulses, say Whitney Heppner and Michael Kernis of the University of Georgia.

Mindfulness boosts your awareness of how you interpret and react to what's happening in your mind. It increases the gap between emotional impulse and action, allowing you to do what Buddhists call recognizing the spark before the flame. Focusing on the present reboots your mind so you can respond thoughtfully rather than automatically. Instead of lashing out in anger, backing down in fear, or mindlessly indulging a passing craving, you get the opportunity to say to yourself, "This is the emotion I'm feeling. How should I respond?"

Mindfulness increases self-control; since you're not getting thrown by threats to your self-esteem, you're better able to regulate your behavior. That's the other irony: Inhabiting your own mind more fully has a powerful effect on your interactions with others.

There's a simple exercise you can do anywhere, anytime to induce mindfulness: Breathe. As it turns out, the advice my friend got in the desert was spot-on. There's no better way to bring yourself into the present moment than to focus on your breathing. Because you're placing your awareness on what's happening right now, you propel yourself powerfully into the present moment. For many, focusing on the breath is the preferred method of orienting themselves to the now—not because the breath has some magical property, but because it's always there with you.

4: To make the most of time, lose track of it (flow).

Perhaps the most complete way of living in the moment is the state of total absorption psychologists call flow. Flow occurs when you're so engrossed in a task that you lose track of everything else around you. Flow embodies an apparent paradox: How can you be living in the moment if you're not even aware of the moment? The depth of engagement absorbs you powerfully, keeping attention so focused that distractions cannot penetrate. You focus so intensely on what you're doing that you're unaware of the passage of time. Hours can pass without you noticing.

Flow is an elusive state. As with romance or sleep, you can't just will yourself into it—all you can do is set the stage, creating the optimal conditions for it to occur.

The first requirement for flow is to set a goal that's challenging but not unattainable—something you have to marshal your resources and stretch yourself to achieve. The task should be matched to your ability level—not so difficult that you'll feel stressed, but not so easy that you'll get bored. In flow, you're firing on all cylinders to rise to a challenge.

To set the stage for flow, goals need to be clearly defined so that you always know your next step. "It could be playing the next bar in a scroll of music, or finding the next foothold if you're a rock climber, or turning the page if you're reading a good novel," says Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who first defined the concept of flow. "At the same time, you're kind of anticipating."

You also need to set up the task in such a way that you receive direct and immediate feedback; with your successes and failures apparent, you can seamlessly adjust your behavior. A climber on the mountain knows immediately if his foothold is secure; a pianist knows instantly when she's played the wrong note.

As your attentional focus narrows, self-consciousness evaporates. You feel as if your awareness merges with the action you're performing. You feel a sense of personal mastery over the situation, and the activity is so intrinsically rewarding that although the task is difficult, action feels effortless.

5: If something is bothering you, move toward it rather than away from it (acceptance).

We all have pain in our lives, whether it's the ex we still long for, the, or the sudden wave of anxiety when we get up to give a speech. If we let them, such irritants can distract us from the enjoyment of life. Paradoxically, the obvious response—focusing on the problem in order to combat and overcome it—often makes it worse, argues Stephen Hayes, a psychologist at the University of Nevada.

The mind's natural tendency when faced with pain is to attempt to avoid it—by trying to resist unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations. When we lose a love, for instance, we fight our feelings of heartbreak. When we're sitting in the dentist's chair waiting for a painful root canal, we wish we were anywhere but there. But in many cases, negative feelings and situations can't be avoided—and resisting them only magnifies the pain.

The problem is we have not just primary emotions but also secondary ones—emotions about other emotions. We get stressed out and then think, "I wish I weren't so stressed out." The primary emotion is stress over your workload. The secondary emotion is feeling, "I hate being stressed."

It doesn't have to be this way. The solution is acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present moment can only be as it is. Trying to change it only frustrates and exhausts you. Acceptance relieves you of this needless extra suffering.

Suppose you've just broken up with your girlfriend or boyfriend; you're heartbroken, overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and longing. You could try to fight these feelings, essentially saying, "I hate feeling this way; I need to make this feeling go away." But by focusing on the pain—being sad about being sad—you only prolong the sadness. You do yourself a favor by accepting your feelings, saying instead, "I've just had a breakup. Feelings of loss are normal and natural. It's OK for me to feel this way."

Acceptance of an unpleasant state doesn't mean you don't have goals for the future. It just means you accept that certain things are beyond your control. The sadness, stress, pain, or anger is there whether you like it or not. Better to embrace the feeling as it is.

You watch your thoughts, perceptions, and emotions flit through your mind without getting involved. Thoughts are just thoughts. You don't have to believe them and you don't have to do what they say.

6: Know that you don't know (engagement).

You've probably had the experience of driving along a highway only to suddenly realize you have no memory or awareness of the previous 15 minutes. Maybe you even missed your exit. You just zoned out; you were somewhere else, and it's as if you've suddenly woken up at the wheel. Or maybe it happens when you're reading a book: "I know I just read that page, but I have no idea what it said."

These autopilot moments are what Harvard's Ellen Langer calls mindlessness—times when you're so lost in your thoughts that you aren't aware of your present experience. As a result, life passes you by without registering on you. The best way to avoid such blackouts, Langer says, is to develop the habit of always noticing new things in whatever situation you're in. That process creates engagement with the present moment and releases a cascade of other benefits. Noticing new things puts you emphatically in the here and now.

We become mindless, Langer explains, because once we think we know something, we stop paying attention to it. We go about our morning commute in a haze because we've trod the same route a hundred times before. But if we see the world with fresh eyes, we realize almost everything is different each time—the pattern of light on the buildings, the faces of the people, even the sensations and feelings we experience along the way. Noticing imbues each moment with a new, fresh quality.

By acquiring the habit of noticing new things, says Langer, we recognize that the world is actually changing constantly. We really don't know how the espresso is going to taste or how the commute will be—or at least, we're not sure.

Don't Just Do Something, Sit There

Mindfulness is the only intentional, systematic activity that is not about trying to improve yourself or get anywhere else, explains Kabat-Zinn. It is simply a matter of realizing where you already are.

Here's the most fundamental paradox of all: Mindfulness isn't a goal, because goals are about the future, but you do have to set the intention of paying attention to what's happening at the present moment. As you read the words printed on this page, as your eyes distinguish the black squiggles on white paper, as you feel gravity anchoring you to the planet, wake up. Become aware of being alive. And breathe. As you draw your next breath, focus on the rise of your abdomen on the in-breath, the stream of heat through your nostrils on the out-breath. If you're aware of that feeling right now, as you're reading this, you're living in the moment. Nothing happens next. It's not a destination. This is it. You're already there.

2009-10-04T02:50:00.000-07:00

Some points taken from the article The pursuit of Happiness. Read on.

Pain Is a Part of Happiness

Happiness is not your reward for escaping pain. It demands that you confront negative feelings head-on, without letting them overwhelm you. Russ Harris, a medical doctor-cum-counselor and author of The Happiness Trap, calls popular conceptions of happiness dangerous because they set people up for a "struggle against reality." They don't acknowledge that real life is full of disappointments, loss, and inconveniences. "If you're going to live a rich and meaningful life," Harris says, "you're going to feel a full range of emotions."

The point isn't to limit that palette of feelings. After all, negative states cue us into what we value and what we need to change: Grief for a loved one proves how much we cherish our relationships. Frustration with several jobs in a row is a sign we're in the wrong career. Happiness would be meaningless if not for sadness: Without the contrast of darkness, there is no light.

Mindfulness Brings Happiness

Mindfulness, a mental state of relaxed awareness of the present moment, marked by openness and curiosity toward your feelings rather than judgments of them, is a powerful tool for experiencing happiness when practiced regularly. "If you bring mindfulness to bear on negative feelings, they lose their impact. Just let them be there without struggling against them, and you'll eventually feel less anxiety and depression," Harris says. Don't banish your negative feelings, but don't let them get in the way of your taking productive actions, either.

Happiness Lies in the Chase

Action toward goals other than happiness makes us happy. Though there is a place for vegging out and reading trashy novels, easy pleasures will never light us up the way mastering a new skill or building something from scratch will.

And it's not crossing the finish line that is most rewarding; it's anticipating achieving your goal. University of Wisconsin neuroscientist Richard Davidson has found that working hard toward a goal, and making progress to the point of expecting a goal to be realized, doesn't just activate positive feelings—it also suppresses negative emotions such as fear and depression.

Yes, Money Buys Happiness—At Least Some Money and Some Happiness

Money does buy happiness, but only up to the point where it enables you to live comfortably. Beyond that, more cash doesn't boost your well-being. But generosity brings true joy, so striking it rich could in fact underwrite your happiness—if you were to give your wealth away.

Options Make Us Miserable

We're constantly making decisions, ranging from what to eat for dinner each night to whom we should marry, not to mention all those flavors of ice cream. We base many of our decisions on whether we think a particular preference will increase our well-being. Intuitively, we seem convinced that the more choices we have, the better off we'll ultimately be. But our world of unlimited opportunity imprisons us more than it makes us happy. In what Swarthmore psychologist Barry Schwartz calls "the paradox of choice," facing many possibilities leaves us stressed out—and less satisfied with whatever we do decide. Having too many choices keeps us wondering about all the opportunities missed.

Happiness Is Other People

Positive psychologist Chris Peterson, a professor at the University of Michigan, says the best piece of advice to come out of his field is to make strong personal relationships your priority. Good relationships are buffers against the damaging effects of all of life's inevitable letdowns and setbacks.

Happiness Is Living Your Values

If you aren't living according to your values, you won't be happy, no matter how much you are achieving. Some people, however, aren't even sure what their values are. If you're one of them, Harris has a great question for you: "Imagine I could wave a magic wand to ensure that you would have the approval and admiration of everyone on the planet, forever. What, in that case, would you choose to do with your life?"

Once you've answered honestly, you can start taking steps toward your ideal vision of yourself. You can tape positive affirmations to your mirror, or you can cut up your advice books and turn them into a papier-mâché project. It doesn't matter, as long as you're living consciously. The state of happiness is not really a state at all. It's an ongoing personal experiment

2009-09-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

tired of the disappointment you kept giving me
it hurts so much you don't even know

2009-09-22T08:20:00.001-07:00

with eyes of concerns.

2009-09-20T06:23:00.001-07:00

wonders why you can't see the way I feel.

2009-09-16T21:52:00.001-07:00

Do not fear mistake - fear only the absence of creative, constructive and corrective responses to those mistakes.

2009-09-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

I'm waking up at 7 am tomorrow to send Jocelyn and Lirong's off as a surprise.

When Shu ming called with the intention to go together, I forgot her name! Just one night of less than 8 hours sleep can affect my memory. Dieee.

So, she called and I asked who is she (cause I didn't save her number). My respond was: "Shuming?." She repled by asking, remember me anot? Me: Shuming ah, don't remember leh. Then she was like aiyooo.

I remember the year when I didn't sleep well for a few months, I began to miss all the basic stuff like I cannot find the word happy in the question paper when it was there and I think I read through it more than 3 times trying to find it.

I must sleep more while I can!

Treating it like its not deliberate, and merely a lack of understanding.

2009-09-11T05:55:00.000-07:00

Time traveller's wife is a really nice film.
Go watch!

2009-09-09T22:52:00.001-07:00

I realized why I over worked.

This holiday, without much CCA, I got things on almost everyday, whether its friends, family, or courses in school. So if I imagine last semester's holiday with two CCAs plannings going on at the same time, it was about crazy.

At least this time round my priorities are different. (:

2009-09-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

2009-09-06T07:47:00.000-07:00

I want to watch time traveller's wife ):

2009-09-05T01:46:00.000-07:00

Body
Cultural tendency: maintain lifestyle; treat health problems with surgery and medication.
Principle: prevent diseases and problems by aligning lifestyle to be in harmone with established, universally accepted principles of health.

Mind
Culture: watch television, "entertain me".
Principle: read broadly and deeply, continuous education.

Heart
Culture: use relationships with others to forward your personal, selfish interests.
Principle: deep,respectful listening and serving others brings greatet fulfillment and joy.

Spirit
Culture: succumb to growing secularism and cyncism.
Principle: recognize that the source of our basic need for meaning and of the positive things we seek in life is principles.

2009-09-03T23:48:00.000-07:00

I need to buy,

earpiece
laptop bag
haversack
shoe
contact lenses

2009-09-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be nice to have bedtime stories read to you everynight - those with fairytales, that you would be able to dream sweet that night and feel lightened and refreshed the next morning, rather than nightmares that wakes you up in the middle of the night.

2009-08-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

Farewell Weisheng.

Haha, no la, he's only going for NS. I had dinner with them yesterday, and this morning met up with gab and wj too. There are really too much to talk about! And every topic can become fun!

I will miss weisheng, really & I want to see his botak face soon.

& had a great afternoon too. Enjoyable. Comfortable.

Hope holiday will go on like this.

2009-08-30T02:49:00.001-07:00

Can I walk you home?

2009-08-29T06:43:00.000-07:00

If you could choose to say something nice or something not, why choose the later?
When you can do something nice or something not, why would you rather not?
When you know what you do will hurt someone, why would you still do it?

Wondering which relationship could be perfect without any heartbreaks.

2009-08-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

I read through past convos and have found out how fast people had changed.

2009-08-27T01:50:00.000-07:00

GUESS what is the first thing I will do after exam?

!!!!!

2009-08-20T23:01:00.000-07:00

You whine, you cry, the world's not going to change for you.

2009-08-16T10:52:00.000-07:00

ACTUALLY. I'm feeling very guilty for missing nps outing twice or rather thrice already. I'm so sorry! I knew I should've went... I missssssssss you guys SO SUPER ALOT. JAZZ, YM, WJ, HAZM, WS, GAB. And this is so esp when I saw those pictures. Don't forget me ah! After exam you guys must still ask me out!

2009-08-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

Aunty said I'm very poor thing. She asked me to faster find a boyfriend cause juju and lala are behind me talking to their boyfriends planning their date tonight.

and guess what, she asked gab to introduction guys to me so i can find one.

-.- Being single is good what.

2009-08-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

Didn't know you could indirectly hurt me this much.

2009-08-14T22:44:00.001-07:00

feels like eating yesterday's dish, feels like drinking orange juice.

2009-08-13T11:54:00.001-07:00

Touched (:

and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZM!! :D
Thanks for lightening my workload for this sem.
And I'm so not going to tell you. (:

This thing got something wrong, i can't put on colors and fonts..

2009-08-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

Tea feels like instant noodles. You put in some water, some milk, done! Like when you put in some water and msg, done!

All these late nights will make mummy worry. Among those nights last week, she asked if she can make any drink for me, and wants me to go out and chill more often. I got play lo, staying in school doesn't mean it's all about studies. :D

Rashes kept coming up and it's getting really irritating.

2009-08-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Study break started
I feel so dumb, sigh.
I need you to tell me that it's okay, it's alright...

2009-08-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

EAA, B?

)':

2009-08-04T05:13:00.000-07:00

The person today talked about ...
1. Be careful of what you're getting, because you're going to get it.
2. How to change the past
3. In the end, it'll be alright. If its not alright, it'll not be the end.

2009-08-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

How to Create Good Study Habits for Exams

I thought this might be helpful.

1. Buy an extra notebook for each subject at the beginning of the year so that as you finish a chapter in class, you immediately write notes and summaries in that book. The classwork will still be fresh in your mind so at exam time you merely have to take the notebook home from school. Write down the key points you learned from each lesson onto a cue card. This helps your mind to retain the day's important facts. On the weekends look over the cue cards. Get your parents or friends to quiz you on them.

2. Learn how to make mind maps, cluster maps and other memory aids. Mind maps are graphical illustrations of a subject and a great memory tool to use, especially during exams.
As soon as you finish a topic take out a book from the library and read more information about the subject. Take notes to refer back to them before and at test time.

3. Make a timetable for exam days by marking the dates on a calendar, so you can be prepared by the time the test comes around.

4. Make a list of your classes and the topics covered in class. As you study a topic, mark it in a way that is meaningful to you, to remind you which topics have already been studied.
Set aside a study time each day when you are not too tired, or too hungry. If you are going to study for a long time, remember to take a break in between.

5. Set up a study group. Study groups share notes, thoughts and ideas or how to solve or understand a particular problem. Be sure to honor the class rules on what work may or may not be done in groups.

6. Plan out 'trial' exams for yourself. All you have to do is redo one of your past tests or quizzes within a time limit. Get into the exam mode by clearing your work desk of everything except your paper and pen.

7. Get enough sleep at night. It's harder to concentrate when you got less than six hours of sleep the night before.

8.. When choosing individual subjects to study, start with the least enjoyable or the most difficult subject. Master it, and you'll end up loving it. At the very least, you won't have to worry about putting it off until it's too late because you don't like it

Memory Aid http://www.wikihow.com/Have-Fun-With-Memorization
Speed Reading http://www.study-habits.com/how-to-read-faster.html
Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl1sLTxxK70

2009-07-31T20:33:00.000-07:00

That night, I left the teacup on the table before going to bed. The next morning, aunty saw it and told me that I dont have to take too many, just 1 teaspoon is enough.

Then now i found out why I was so awake the other night. Because I throw in two tablespoon of them.

2009-07-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

When your heart is crying, you wish for a bear to hold on tight while you lie on your bed as the night crawls on you to intensify the pain...

I need somebody.

2009-07-25T21:50:00.000-07:00

OH MY. I FEEL SO BORED! I don't know being free do good or bad for me. I'm starting to feel lazy. ):

What if you treat everyday as a clause for celebration?

2009-07-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

Read this by Steve Job, CEO and co-founder of apple and pixar animation, at his commencement speech for stanford university. This is his third story: following your heart.

"When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like if you live each day as if it was your last, someday you would most certainly be right. It made an impression on me. Since then for the last 33 years I look into the mirror every morning and ask myself, if today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm about to do today? and whenever the answer is known to too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that we're all going to die soon is the most important tool I have ever encounter to help me make the big choices in life because almost everything, all extraordinary expectation or pride or fear of embarrassment of failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving what is truly important.

Remembering that you're going to die is best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart."

Many times, we're blinded by the fear of embarrassment, disappointment and pride when we're making decisions. I wonder if I treat each day like my last, would many of my decision have been different? Would I have the courage to do the things I didn't dare to?

I have learnt how to live without you.
Once upon a time you were my number one.

2009-07-22T06:06:00.000-07:00

Today when I was at A math lesson learning Integration, it suddenly reminded me of Mr Patrick Ng. It's super random right. But I couldn't help thinking, he was one of the better math teacher I've came across. I kind of miss him. After I graduated from STC, and was waiting for cab to go CJ he saw me while he was driving and he STOPPED in the middle of road. Then we started talking for a short while and later, got horned. So ya, those times. (:

Other than that, I remember the last 20 marks question which I have carelessly missed one number while transfering the qn into my paper, when it was about integration and differentiation. ):

Anyway, going home today got companion, didn't seem too boring. Yesterday I travelled 1.5 hrs before reaching home. It feels like I'm living in Pasir Ris or something & I got home, was distracted by the computer and didn't do anything. So, back to work today.

There's 3 Final test the week before study break. Heart pumping fast fast.

If today were the last, what would you do?

2009-07-16T07:50:00.001-07:00

You've grown up.

2009-07-12T04:37:00.000-07:00

2009-07-10T03:26:00.000-07:00

Finally! No Projects for the rest of the semester! :D
Thanks to my friends who were there when I needed them, loves.
It's really nice to know that you have great friends by your side. They help brighten up your day so much. School this sem feels better than the last as the friendships grow, and so is the many new friends I've made. (:

Last week and this week was really busy. I wasn't focusing in lecture, too easily distracted. I didn't do tutorials so I don't understand a thing in class too. Thinking back, today's last week was still concert eve. We were having fun in school, half panicking, working hard for tomorrow, having so many doubts in our minds. I didn't know I will miss everything so much. I miss being involved in Ripieno. As I walked past clubhouse these week, there's this familarity and sadness I felt, like these place contain tons of memories and so many other things.

Off to sleep. :)

2009-07-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

Oh my god. I want to cry. I just read alot of reflection about the concert from their blog. It's so heartwarming. I gotten write one too soon.

I miss Ripieno. I miss all the people, really. I havn't gotten over the concert. I'm happy that it happened. Ripieno meaning altogether, really made us one.

2009-07-04T09:14:00.000-07:00

It seems like we did a good job in it! Super happy! All our hard work paid off. It's once in a lifetime experience with 150 performers, and 860 audiences, and handling the guest as well.

Thank thank those who came down to support me. It's nice to know you've so many good friends by your side. (:

Looks like Ian like it.

/

Thanks Ju for counting tickets. For missing practices and sleep for the whole week. I saw her sleep at 4 and 5 am for 5 days alr. Now I know how troublesome it is.

2009-07-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

I drank coffee this whole week.

Thank you, those who supported me. Thanks thanks, tons tons. You don't know how much I appreciate it.

2009-06-29T01:49:00.000-07:00

It's hard to focus on studies again. My whole mind is thinking about concert and project deadlines. One week more...

For those whom I havn't ask,

do you want to come for my concert at Victoria Concert Hall, this Sat, 7.pm.? Band, string and guitar will be playing. There are really nice song like love story and viva la vida. It's really worth watching. Come and support me ok? Do message me for tickets (:

2009-06-27T04:27:00.001-07:00

I figure that there'd be no apologetic word from you.

I wish to re-live my life again and I also want Edward's special ability - to read others' mind.

2009-06-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

There is this joke I want to share with you guys.

Because we received a email from the reporter at npTribune. They are trying to get some information about the concert from us to cover in their next issue. I was drafting the email before I sent it over for check.

When I asked what is the theme for the camp, he said
"hentam bocap"
"we anyhow rojak some famous pop and classic."

And next thing I typed in the email "Our theme for this concert is Hentam Bocap, songs that are usually based on famous pop and classical songs." =\ without realizing anything. until when he checked and laughed at me.

If you what it means in hokkien.

Blur me! >.<

2009-06-17T04:25:00.000-07:00

My head is burning.

Lack of sleep plus so many things going on.

2009-06-13T07:01:00.001-07:00

Fancy staying home on a Saturday evening! Haha.

Lala and Juju were both out, while I stayed in today. My aunt started asking, rebacca, you don't have boyfriend?. xD

No life man. AHHHH, hahaha.

2009-06-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ohmygosh. Today has been a really tiring day.

Start of the day were walking since 1.30 to 4 discussing about I&E activity and looking for cheap shelves and sponsorship for DVD. Later, start from 5 was retrieving information about catering from MP and walk around practically the whole school looking of suitable place for rehearsal and approaching EM for approval.

Before heading back home, was dinner and walking at the bridge at Mount Faber from 8 until 10.30. By the time at 11.30 pm when I settled down on my computer, there's EAA project, camps, and emails to be written.

Now at 3 a.m. I just finished my camp discussion and heading to bed. ZOMG. ):

/Don't be sad for the orange thing alright.
/Ju, love you, be strong.

2009-06-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

It's really a bad thing to be forgetful... you are someone you are not intended to be. ):

2009-06-10T20:45:00.000-07:00

Exam's over!

It's time to chiong CCA. I pushed it behind for too long already. (:

2009-06-06T20:17:00.000-07:00

I want to live with a garden someday so to be able to view all these pretty flowers everyday.

/ You're are our center of communication and harmony

2009-06-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO WATCH NEW MOON

2009-06-06T06:34:00.000-07:00

I lost my hp so don't mind me for not replying your msg.
I doubt you guys'll be reading my blog tho.
:(, my phone!

2009-06-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

When hazm&wj talked and sometimes with ben included, it's freaking funny.
HAHAHAHA.
Ben: Hazm are you a gay?
Hazm: Yes.
Since then. LOL.
WJ said Kappo something. Hmmmm.

Have fun with them today (:

I want to be happy everyday without worries. Please teach me how.

/edit
It's capo & not kappo, ps. :D

2009-06-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

If your team are not willing to work and do not have the same goal as you, there's nothing you can do.

You feel angry for those things that are entirely not worth it. You waste your time trying to surpress your anger, instead of rest and revision. You waste your time having discussion with them with their irritated tone and offensive words embarassing you, and you feel even worst.

On second thought, instead of shifting my focus and allowing emotions to take control, I think would choose do something more useful instead.

2009-06-01T03:50:00.000-07:00

<3,miss them.

2009-05-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

-
kan kai le.

2009-05-26T10:33:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xstLRWHgD2Q&feature=related
You have to watch this video, click click click.

Balance your life between work & play.

2009-05-26T02:27:00.000-07:00

I just found out that I loves cookies! :D
That day when I ate the cookies that Joce's friend baked, I was craving for more. Similarly to those made at WS's house. At home I could finish half the box of butter cookies at a go & when I was at work the only snacks I took were cookies!
So for me, EAT COOKIES = HAPPY

:D

& study more = eat more junk food = fats Zzz

2009-05-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Painful truth

How will she let you know?
It will really break your heart and hers too.
I drag that.

2009-05-22T23:03:00.001-07:00

Wishing that you were somebody else.

2009-05-21T08:50:00.001-07:00

Freshies are !!!!@#$%^&*

2009-05-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

What you thought of me, let it be
Because like what you and I thought, nothing we say can change anything.
There are mistakes from the beginning but still we're allowing no room for ammendment.
I'm hoping you don't mean what you said like when I don't mean to act those ways.

)':

2009-05-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

Slept late again, called about sixty people.

I just found out during my June hols, I'm having 3 camps, two 4 days, one 3 days, and 1 rehearsal. Like 12/14 days burnt. At least it's only during holiday and not affecting my rest/studies.

Jocelyn was so cute today. she just knew I'm born on 90. Her reaction was cool. :D Then later during a math I think she got an heart attack from what I'd told her. :D

Bye.

/Worried for nps
Do I really have an impact on attendance and punctuality?

2009-05-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

9 - 11.30 at night for project and cca stuff. Projects and CCA keep coming up now. But it's still manageable (:

My sleeping time got messed up because of last sem's holiday. I can't fall asleep usually until 12, and have to wake up early the next day at about 6 or 7. & Plus, I sleep sounder in the afternoon now. While nap isn't the ans because school ends at evening, I couldn't find the solution.

Btw, just now when I was copying right from a text, for the word a, I typed it, up became out, firm became company, conservative became conservation. Don't know what's wrong.

And everytime when I just stood up for the pass 4 days, I saw stars. I mean black patches.

//I feel guilty for talking to you like I'm not suppose to.

2009-05-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes talking to you will make my blood boilllll.

Some things are not worth it.

2009-05-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

I am in school attending CLSP tutorial thinking it was make up, and he said there'll be a make up for our class next week after our own tutorial.

Today I was walking across the overhead beach, when I saw Hwee Khim [ :) ], and I was saying, so long didn't see you. Then she asked, why you didn't come to strings already. I replied and said I want to sleep and study. We said goodbye and left.
The bond so strong sigh, but I guess that's in the past.
I miss NPS, the one in december.
People change, don't they?

2009-05-12T06:18:00.001-07:00

It kept comin back every now and then.

2009-05-11T04:41:00.000-07:00

Ba ku teh (:

2009-05-11T02:46:00.000-07:00

We're doing a proposal regarding programmes for enrichment targeted at children from Salvation, wanting to inculcate important values in their lifes to accompany them as they grow up.

One of them is to stay focus on the solution and not the details of the problem. One of which, I think I have to learn too.

At least life is a little slower now.

2009-05-10T02:21:00.001-07:00

I couldn't focus again. ):

2009-05-08T03:59:00.000-07:00

HELLO GUYS. (:

It's friday night, hurray! Finally...

I don't have IS for the next three weeks so my monday is entirely FREE. Emma was saying, 4 day work week, 3 day rest. ;)

Today I had 4 hours of lesson, and 2 hours for projects. I was at canteen 1, and it reminded me of NPS. I called YM, and Jazz but only manage to meet Jazz. I miss her so much, and I know she miss me too!

I was reading the walls when I was in the clubhouse. Gab, Ju, Ym, WS, Jazz, WJ, and it reminded me of all the old days especially during the december & march holidays. I spent so much time with them during then.

Mummy's birthday falls on 9 may, and this year mother's day is 10 may. Two days of celebration for her, and also for us :)

Happy Birthday & Happy Mother's day Mummy.

2009-05-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

Everyone is moving on, moving on so fast like they've thrown everything that had happened far far away, deep deep into the ocean. This thing is at somewhere which only they know and there seem to be treasures left behind. Pick them up again will you. It comes only once in a lifetime and is precious, do you know?

I shouldn't and I couldn't.

2009-05-05T21:09:00.001-07:00

29 is not meant for me all along.

2009-05-04T04:32:00.001-07:00

Mending her broken heart.
I'm happy for you.
:)

2009-05-02T22:36:00.001-07:00

Dare to fail.

THE KEY to getting out of any hole is realising that you havn't just fallen; you've fallen into something. In fact, if there are such a thing as an opportunity index, it could stand at about 7.5 out of 10 now, says Guy Kawasaki, entrepreneur and author of The Art of the Start and Reality Check.

Despite the recession, he claims that it's a better-than-average time to be entrepreneurial and pursue your dreams. Not only is there less "noise" in the marketplace because of fewer competition, but resources are relatively inexpensive. Plus if you've recently been downsized, you have time to develop your idea and perhaps even a bit of severance money to help fund it.

THE SCHEME
When times get tough, write your obituary. Sit down, think hard, and list three things you want people to remember you for. This will help prioritize your life. Then find ways to follow through on your goals.

Dweck has been studying how people handle failure for 40 years. Her research has led her to identifying two distinct mindsets that dramatically influence how we react it.

A growth mind set assumes that no talent is entirely heavensent and that effort and learning make everything possible. Because the ego isn't on the line as much, the growth mindset sees failure as opportunity rather than insult. When challenged, it's quick to reassess, adjust, and try again. In fact, it relishes this process.

Snapshots of the brain taken during learning actually show neurons firing, growing and forming new conenctions. Failure can trigger this.

When those with growth mind-sets fail at a task, she detects them entering a more focused mental state as they try to figure out their mistake. And subsequent trials, they improve. They've learned and their brains have "grown"

Failure is welcomed as an opportunity for learning and strengthening the species.

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default" J.K. Rowling

above all from Reader's digest :)

Hope everything is fine

2009-05-02T11:24:00.001-07:00

And so you are out of my life.

2009-05-01T21:09:00.001-07:00

To: The brainless creature
Oh, I so hate you. :D

2009-04-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was busy. I was in lecture and tutorials from 9am to 8pm without lunch break. ):
But I brought alot of snacks&finger food along. They were eating subway in lecture, haha.
So today, Ba goal is meeting, POP is having BBQ, NPS ppl wanna go out and I'm not joining because I wanna to rest, sorry. Miss you guys! (I really do).

I recuperating my energy for you guys, so I don't always look tired right. :D

2009-04-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

Join BA GOAL at underpass, and help raise some funds! <3

2009-04-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

I wonder why was I even born.
I think their life would be better without me if that ova wasn't fertilized in the first place.

2009-04-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BLACK BULLY, SYAHID!!!

So BA GOAL celebrated his birthday for him FIRST, hehe. =)
CY, Tohtoh, and WT when to buy the cake, hide it until he arrives then tah dah!

Next was Spinacc. Those seniors from Bagoal joined too.
They played cakes among each other, violently? (actions like gays actually), ran around the field topless, senior vs junior girl ran too. I came in last. I hate running. ): Salad dragged me there. !@#!. Still, it's fun. The tip of my foot hurt so much from the runnings. It feels like it's burning.

This card which I specially planned for him where I meet up with seniors and the rest, was given to him. I feels like it's from the bottom of my heart. The rest of the people like su xin, toh toh helped with the design. Thank you so much. He does make quite a huge difference in my poly life. :) All the camps he was either my GL or at the side calling me names.

2009-04-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

If you never have this person in your life before who will happen to be your best friend, it'll be filled with boredom and dryness.

And when this person has once entered your life and left you, it's a short moment of happiness and warmth, but a forever of pain dealing with regrets, missing this someone and many other mixed emotions aftermath.

2009-04-20T00:52:00.001-07:00

I & E was really BLEH.
I hope both of you can be happy, please do.

2009-04-18T21:27:00.000-07:00

Holidays

Enjoy days are over, tomorrow is back to the stressful and hectic lifestyle. I had promised myself to have 8 hours of sleep everyday in the coming semester. I highly doubt I will follow but please do remind me to sleep early. I had told Wave that I will only go for the Friday's practice. I won't be seeing my guitar friends that often already. But I think they will still head out on weekends. :)

In the last semester I'd learn about priority and balance, my strength, weakness and limitations..

What made us interested in somebody's blog or is it a form of entertainment that we only visit when we are a little too bored?

I believe in making a difference.

2009-04-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

Doubt thou that the stars are fire;
Doubt thou that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt that I love
- William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Maybe that's how strong love can get.

www.np-goal.blogspot.com, wanna join? :D

Sleeping is my happiness! Hehe! xD

2009-04-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

My friend told me that you can see a bottle as half empty or half filled, it's depends on how we want see it. Maybe that's why we do have different opinions without knowing who's correct resulting in anger, conflict and quarrels.

2009-04-12T20:11:00.000-07:00

Northern Light

Lightning

Desert

Pretty pictures :)

2009-04-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

So sad.

2009-04-12T04:02:00.001-07:00

Mud Cookie

A recent AP article shook charitable institutions to their core by revealing that Haitians are eating cookies made of mud to fill their bellies. After more than an estimated 2 billion dollars of international aid to date, not including all the spiritually challenged Jesus folk who invested a lot more, Haitians still have to live off mud cookies made of dirt to survive.

2009-04-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

If you really think he matters so much to you that could upset you, there must be something.

2009-04-09T08:51:00.000-07:00

SO I went to BAOC! I had fun talking and hanging out with all the freshies. For the first two days bonding was amissed but today during dinner all was there :)

For the past two days I've been sleeping for about 1 hour each, I can really die. My dark rings are coming back. But thanks for the ride for the two days. Really thanks alot to them! I think I wasted alot of their fuel. It's from PS to school to home than to back to PS again, wow.

I guess I'm sleeping soon. There's quite alot of work not done yet like minutes and logistics.

Bye :)

2009-04-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

I watched a walk to remember again, and I think I blogged about this before but I'll put it here again. (:

Love is always patient and kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful nor conceited.
It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take offense, and it is not resentful
Love take no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
Love does not come to an end.

2009-04-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

Can science explains everything including love?

2009-04-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

I've made up my decision.

(:

Friday
Got doctor appt, baoc rehearsal, guitar practice.
Saturday
Has BA GOAL meeting, shop for the fund raising logistic, and BAOC.
Sunday
BAOC

went to library to check out new moon but all are reserved or on loan. :(
Had fun yesterday (:
And according to science, love can be nurtured, but I dislike the idea.

2009-04-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

I hope I fall sick, then I've got excuse not to attend school and think of anything related to school.

What should I give up?

2009-03-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

Baba yetu yetu, uliye
Our Father, who art

Mbinguni yetu yetu, amina!
in Heaven. Amen!

Baba yetu yetu, uliye
Our Father,

Jina lako litukuzwe.
Hallowed be thy name.

Utupe leo chakula chetu
Give us this day our daily bread,

Tunachohitaji utusamehe
Forgive us of

Makosa yetu, hey!
our trespasses

Kama nasi tunavyowasamehe
As we forgive others

Waliotukosea usitutie
Who tresspass against us

Katika majaribu, lakini
Lead us not into temptation, but

Utuokoe, na yule, milelea milele!
deiver us from Evil, and you are forever and ever!

Ufalme wako ufike
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done

duniani kama mbinguni. (Amina)
On Earth as it is in Heaven. (Amen)

Do you know how cool is this? :)

http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/ The latest post was from her husband, and the ones from 2005 was from her. It makes you rethink what life's about. Don't waste life away.

2009-03-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

Alright.

How are we so sure that we had this one&only one person forever in our heart, where there is no place for another man?

2009-03-27T04:13:00.000-07:00

Fellow eco group Nature Trekker Singapore will conduct a night walk to Mount Faber for a bird’s eye view of the city lights going out at 8.30pm.

I think we'll get to see more stars than usual this saturday night :)

2009-03-24T02:27:00.000-07:00

Traumatized, phobia, & paranoid.
Disappointment, regrefulness & sleepless nights.

How? ):